Things aren’t always running in the sun and eating cupcakes on tables around here, there is some seriously gross stuff that’s going on.

  • One of my meals each day usually consists of whatever Ali didn’t finish eating. Invariably, I realize that innocent piece of food I just put in my mouth is some slimy, half chewed thing that Ali spit out. I stop for a minute and consider the situation, but I figure it’s already in there, I might as well just finish eating it. You’d think I’d learn to pay attention…
  • Ali loves crapping in the bath. She does it nearly every night. Sometimes it’s a bath ender poop, but usually I just fish the turds out, with my bare hand, as quickly as I can and throw them in the toilet. One time I was cleaning off the bathroom counter or something, and I looked over to see Ali smiling at me, holding out a piece of poop, with a giant string of snot that went from her nose down to the bath water. That was one of those surreal moments where it hit me that yes, this is my life now…
  • Ali was running around with a sucker not too long ago, I usually only let her have food while at the table but I was letting her go for some reason. All of a sudden she was ‘brushing’ the cat with her sucker, then put the hairy nasty thing in her mouth. 

I used to think all the body fluids from both of us when Ali was an infant would be as gross as it gets. I was wrong. Maybe it will get less nasty when she goes from being a toddler to being a kid? I hope so…

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