You win some, you lose some

First of all, don’t you just love those corkscrew curls!  

 If the darn weather would cooperate, all of her days would be spent outside in just a swim diaper. Such an outdoorsy kid already! We are doing our first overnight camping trip this weekend, I’m pretty sure she is going to love it and wonder why we don’t always live in a tent 🙂 

Anyway, I had one of those magical proud parent moments recently. One of the older kids said Ali was like a garbage can because she will eat anything. That made me so happy! He isn’t entirely right, try as I might I just can’t get her to share my love of peanut butter and jelly, but aside from that there is not a lot she refuses to eat. I know we are fast approaching the age where that often changes and kids become picky eaters for a while, but for now I will bask in my successful implementation of at least one parenting tip from Bringing up Bebe

A not so proud moment happened last weekend while visiting my grandparents.  

 Don’t let this cute pic fool you! She was in ‘Tornado Ali’ mode at their apartment, which was hard for my poor old grandparents to deal with, and kind of embarrassing for me. I try my best to set Ali up for success when we go to my hometown to visit family, but you can only do so much when traveling and being around unfamiliar people for extended periods of time. Either way, her screaming fits and general stinkerness got me a long and uncomfortable parenting lecture from my grandparents. What it mostly boiled down to was that they think she is naturally a wild kid, and the best way to get control of a wild kid is to make them fear you by spanking them. 

Whew! Kind of tough to listen to. 

I really don’t see myself using spanking as a form of discipline. I used to be more on the fence about spanking, and think that some kids probably needed it, but then I read All About Love by Bell Hooks, which put me firmly in the no spanking camp. That book is amazing, and transformed the way I think about love in all of it’s many forms. You should totally read it. 

Well, it will be a few months before I make my way back up to my hometown for a family visit. Maybe that time will make a difference in Ali’s ability to sit and do a quiet activity when we are somewhere other than home. 

I can dream, right?

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14 Responses to You win some, you lose some

  1. I read bringing up bebe years ago but don’t remember much. Let me in on the good eater tip?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The LadyKing says:

    Scarlett eats less in quantity but has maintained her variety. Same for Thatcher. They SAY they don’t like it or won’t eat it or they want something different WHILE they are eating what I make and asking for seconds. Kids are weird.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lindsay says:

    Oh my goodness, I can imagine how awkward that lecture was from your grandparents! In those cases you just gotta nod your head to be respectful and then do your own thing.

    I love Ali’s curls – they’re so beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lindsay says:

    Oh, and I don’t think instilling fear is a good method for parenting either. I know that’s how it was done back in their day & age, but when we know better, we do better!

    Liked by 1 person

    • kayrosey says:

      Ultimately, I would rather Ali behave because she doesn’t want to disappoint me and not because she is afraid of the consequences, generally speaking. Right now, what I’m starting to see is that since she is the size of a 3yo, and about as coordinated as a 3yo, people expect her to be much more mature than she is.

      Like

  5. DeCaf says:

    Science doesn’t show any advantage to spankings over loss of privileges and time outs. I grew up with a dad who succeeded at making me afraid of him, so I’d obey him, now at 33 I just avoid him because he escaladed it to being abusive when I was a teen.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Shannon says:

    I just LOVE her hair! I am so glad you have a good eater. Judge is so NOT a good one. Corrie said before the babies were born, please oh please let at least one of these babies be good eaters. It’s a constant struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kayrosey says:

      I’m glad she’s a good eater, I’d be so stressed if she wasn’t! I’ve relaxed about it a lot, but I used to obsess over her calories/nutrition when she went off the boob and formula.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. You know, my mom used to spank us pretty often. After a while, we just kinda laughed at her and would fake cry, and then go into our rooms and high five each other. Also, one time, my mom hit me so hard (when I was about 15) that it stirred up so much anger (and although I’ll regret it until the day I die, it needed to happen) that i cocked my fist back and punched her. I don’t really remember what happened the next 2 days ( i might have been out cold) but I DO know that she never hit me again. My father on the other hand, never once laid a hand on any of us, but we respected him so much. All he had to say was, ” I expected better from you. I’m so disappointed” and we were in tears, tail between out legs, and putting OURSELVES on punishment/time out. That’s what I want. And it’s been working so far with Mary. Positive reinforcement, and letting her know when her behavior is less than appropriate/satisfactory/desirable.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kayrosey says:

      Yeah, that’s what I would like too. My dad hitting me only made me simmer with hatred, and I just walked away one day when I was 16 and went out on my own.

      Like

  8. Bringing Up Bebe has been on my list to read since it came up. I think that Bell Hooks one will get read first, will reserve it now!

    Like

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