There have been so many wonderful parts of my short lived babysitting career. There are the obvious benefits of being able to stay home with Ali, and being able to take care of the household duties when precious things like time and sleep and patience are in short supply. Seeing the sibling bond between two kids first hand has been an eye opening experience, and has really changed my ‘one and done’ mindset that I didn’t think could be changed. And then there is the awesome 15 year old that has made my summer a breeze so far. Did I tell you that she’s gay? Aside from her being such a help with the little ones, it’s been kind of cool to be something of a role model for her. It makes me happy that Jen and I are able to show her that you can have a ‘normal’ life whe you are a lesbian (if that’s what you want). When I was her age, the only gay people I saw were drag queens on talk shows, that I knew about anyway.
I really have to keep reminding myself of all those good things these days, it’s been a little rough. This mother effing weather has been keeping us cooped up inside most days, and we are all getting on each other’s nerves. I just read that our rainfall today has officially broken the record for the most rainfall in June since they started keeping track. The struggle is real. There I go, bitching about the weather again! I’m starting to sound like a broken record.
Speaking of a broken record…
Jen has issues with anxiety and stuff, and every so often it really bubbles up. Right now it’s bubbling. I understand, there are some legitimate stressors going on or about to go on with us truly going down to one income soon when I start school, and Ali is starting preschool which is weird, and we will be on the ttc roller coaster in a couple months. The problem is that I’m just not a good support person. I can’t do the hours long compassionate listening about the same thing over and over until the wee hours of the morning, I’m not that kind of friend. I’m the kind of friend you talk to when you want some tough love. Or when you want to have some drinks and do some down and dirty bitching. I’m not good at anything else, I don’t have the patience for it. Unfortunately Jen really tries to get more from me, and eventually I start the eye rolls and heavy sighs and the ‘you’re overreacting’s. It pisses her off and hurts her feelings, which makes me feel bad.
*Sigh*, marriage is hard sometimes.
Let’s end on a good note though, ok!