Lies

So, I got a frantic text from the mom of the 5yr old girl that I used to babysit. She is saying that the 9yr old boy I babysat taught her daughter how to french kiss, and they did it at my house sometime over the summer. It came up because her daughter was trying to kiss a little boy, and the boy told on her, so there was a discussion on appropriate behavior. 

What!!! 

Of course my heart kind of dropped. There was very, very little time when the two of them would have been alone together, but it did happen sometimes. Anyway, with a little investigation on my part, and the boy’s mother’s part, it turns out that nothing really happened. Thank goodness!  What happened was the girl jumped on him and licked him, he said, ‘eww are you trying to french kiss me or something!?’, and then a discussion of what French kissing is was had between them. Still not the most appropriate thing to happen, but way better than actual physical contact!

And why would I believe him over her, you ask? Well, for one I know this boy well. Like, really well. Like, we have been family friends for a handful of years. We spend holidays with them, vacation with them, there were times in the summer when we would be together every day for 3 weeks straight including weekends. I just don’t think he is at the point of being interested in touching girls. I really really don’t see that happening for another couple years. Also, the little girl lies all the time. She tells big lies, little lies, lies with a grain of truth in them so they seem plausible, and total bald faced unbelievable batshit crazy lies as well. And she has bad boundaries. She wants to hug and kiss other kids all the time, her parents actually encourage it, I’ve seen them. This exact situation is one reason I discourage Ali from hugging and kissing other people. Anyway…

Now the problem is, how do I tell her mom she’s lying? We had a similar issue last year where the little girl lied about the boy chasing her around with a knife, and it was hard convincing her it was false even then, when it was preposterous. I guess just be matter of fact about it and drop it.  Crazy kid! 

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5 Responses to Lies

  1. Wow! Good luck. I wouldn’t say she lied but explain what really happened and how that got misconstrued. I have worked for people who didn’t teach their child boundaries and it is hard. They actually had to get rid of their cats because the dad taught the child to jump on them, aka hugs, and not let go.

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    • kayrosey says:

      No, she lied. She told her mom there was actual kissing involved. Whenever this girl thinks she might be in trouble, she starts telling stories, it drove me crazy when I watched her!

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      • Yeh but you just want to get away from it all, haha! You don’t want this to get drawn out and turn into a big fiasco. Let her draw her own conclusions about her child’s behavior since it sounds like she hasn’t yet.

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  2. DeCaf says:

    Maybe tell mom what happened and suggest that her daughter is getting confused about what had happened?

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  3. This reminds me of a story about one of the kids in my old day care. I used to sing songs to them in spanish and teach them spanish pretty consistently, like all day! One day I get pulled into the office by my director, and one of the little girls moms is there, red in the face, so upset! She claimed that she was worried that i was dealing drugs at the school because the little girl came home saying that she learned “marijuana”!!! SAY WHAT!?! I couldn’t defend myself enough!!! After bringing the child into the office and asking her what she had told her mother, she kept saying, “Marijuana! Marijuana!” So of course, I started to cry because 1) i was worried about losing my job, and 2) I was worried that they would think I was some type of drug dealing thug! So we wrap up the meeting, and i’m bracing myself for the write up and getting fired, and the little girl leaves with her mother, looks back and says, “BYE Miss sammy! Marijuana!” And suddenly it hits me!! “Hasta Mañana!!!” Of course, we all start cracking up, because it was very clear that she wasn’t saying marijuana, she was trying to say Hasta Mañana in her 2.5 year old voice. All of that to say, sometimes the best thing to do, is bring people together and try and get everyone to see what really happened. It may be difficult, but if it’s a matter of clearing your name, and possibly not getting authorities involved, so maybe getting a little more clarity from both kids would help!

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