Family of 6?

Man this foster care stuff has really started to snowball! We have known that mom is pregnant with another, but just got a call from the social worker asking us to take it when it’s born, since she’s already 7 months pregnant and who knows when this baby will be born. It’s totally insane, but how can we say no?! I always joked that we’d end up with a hundred kids when we started this process since we are both bleeding hearts when it comes to kids, but damn! 3 kids in like 8 months! We are going to have to do a little rearranging of bedrooms if this all works out to us taking all 3, out little queen is going to have to give up the big bedroom which may or may not go over well with her. 

Oh, you thought Mr. K was going with his dad? Well, maybe he still will. At this point we are proceeding on the assumption that it’s not going to happen since all of a sudden no one can get ahold of him. I just don’t understand the thought process of these parents. I mean, I get it on some level. What 23 year old young black man wants the state poking around in his living space and his life pretty much constantly, and for the foreseeable future. The harsher side of me thinks that’s the price you pay when you’re irresponsible and choose not to use a fucking condom. Same with mom, I mean come on lady! She’s set up and no showed 2 visitation sessions. Luckily it’s been the evaluation session that we haven’t had to bring the kids to, but still. There’s no amount of damaged pride or hurt feelings or whatever that would keep me from seeing my kid if I lost her. At this point it’s been 3 full weeks since either one of the parents have seen their kids. I don’t know if that’s for the best or not. It’s way more convenient for us to not have to do a bunch of driving around and trying to fill the hours while we wait and dealing with the emotional aftermath of visits. Then again, it makes me a little sad for the kids that all of a sudden the people they know are just gone. Totally gone. 

I’m sure everything about Jen and Ali and I and the way we live is super different than what they came from. Different food, different smells, different ways of speaking, different clothes and beds. Different rules and different expectations. We are starting to see some of those effects in K.  He’s still a good listener and champion sleeper, which makes the days run relatively smoothly, but stuff is starting to come up. His eating has gotten weird. If it’s not a hot dog or chicken nugget, both drowning in ketchup, he just won’t eat it. Nary a fruit or vegetable has passed his lips in about a week. I’ve been joking that he’s going to get scurvy or gout or something, but I started putting vitamin drops in his drink so hopefully not! The food thing is weird but possibly normal toddler pickiness, it’s some behavior stuff that’s a little more concerning. He’s started this thing where he squares himself up and puts a crazy look on his face and tries to stare down everyone, it feels like a dominance thing. He mostly does it to the other kids and the dogs, but he’s done it to Jen and I when he gets redirected or whatever. There’s something about it that really raises my neck hairs, and I end up out staring him so I ‘win’.  I have no idea if that’s the right thing to do or not, and I want to seek out a professional opinion in a couple weeks or so if things are still looking like he will stay. That’s just one of the little quirks, but it’s the most annoying one. We don’t run a democracy here, the parents are the boss and the kid does things when we feel it’s time, like potty training or whatever. We make an effort to give appropriate choices each day, what to wear or eat, etc., but that’s it, we have never had the mentality of doing stuff when the kid is ready. Even though, this posturing thing feels yucky to me. 

On a lighter note, baby K is a delight :). He just wants to eat and play and snuggle the days away. He is also a champion sleeper, which is amazing. He’s gained about 3 pounds since we got him, and has turned into a smiley, curious little dude that attempts to climb everything in sight. Little cutie! 

I have some totally adorable pictures of the boys that I can’t share, which is killing me a little, but here’s some good ones of my girl.  

FB repeat, sorry! I just love this one…




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3 Responses to Family of 6?

  1. Caitlin says:

    I have absolutely no background or credential in child psychology, but it sounds like he’s testing to see if you’re in charge (ie: will you protect him). Do you read Kristen Howerton’s blog – I know that if you reach out to her (and she is able to respond) she has a bunch of books and resources about this topic. Jillian Lauren of probably also has some idea – she’s on round 2 of adoption in the same age frame.

    I’m excited for you! A family of 6 sounds awesome!


    • kayrosey says:

      I don’t read those blogs, but will subscribe to them. I really need to beef up my foster/adoption reading list 🙂
      I agree that he’s testing me. This sounds terrible but it’s so much like when I train my puppies.
      Family of 6 sounds crazy! I grew up in a sibling set of 3, my wife in a set of just 2. Anything more feels crazy, but exciting too. 4 kids is the ultimate cut off, we don’t have the room for more in our house!


  2. Molly says:

    Wow. Your life just exploded. I am in awe!

    Liked by 1 person

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